Technoblade (Dream SMP)

Technoblade (Dream SMP)

*WILBUR \u0026 TOMMY HEIGHT CHECK*
*WILBUR \u0026 TOMMY HEIGHT CHECK*

This villain was proposed and approved on the Inconsistently Heinous Wiki for being a villain who, despite their strong heinousness, have numerous disqualifications preventing them from being PE or NPE.

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You wanna to be a hero, Tommy?! THEN DIE LIKE ONE!
~ Technoblade’s most famous quote before unleashing two Withers upon L’Manberg.
Blood for the Blood God.
~ One of Technoblade’s catchphrases.
The only thing that works in this world, is that you treat others the way they treat you, alright? Those that have treated me with kindness, I will repay that kindness tenfold, AND THOSE THAT TREAT ME WITH INJUSTICE?! That use me?! That hunt me down, that HURT MY FRIENDS?! I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over.
~ Technoblade after his failed execution.

Technoblade, also known as simply Techno, is one of the two secondary antagonists (alongside Punz) of the Minecraft web series Dream SMP.

He appears as the anti-heroic tetartagonist-turned-one of the two final antagonists (alongside Wilbur Soot) of War for L’Manburg Arc, the secondary antagonist of both Reign of Government and Fall of Dream Arc, one of the two main antagonists (alongside BadBoyHalo) of The Egg Arc, the secondary antagonist in Rise and Fall of Las Nevadas Arcs, and an unseen overarching antagonist in Final Battle Arc.

He is a radical anarchist opposed to all forms of government and authority, considering them tyrannical and oppressive. Having joined the fight against Jschlatt’s rule over Manberg, Techno made several allies and enemies during his cooperation with Pogtopia before going on to betray them in favour of destroying the nation, later going on to co-found The Syndicate, a rebel federation dedicated to upholding anarchist ideology.

Although he started off as an anti-hero, Techno’s beliefs and pathological need to commit acts of violence have driven him down a path of villainy, leading him to burn bridges between allies be had made previously and gain a feared reputation. He is known for his dueling skills and prowess in battle, as well as dry, monotone speech and sense of honor. He is Quackity’s arch-nemesis and Dream’s on-and-off ally and rival.

He was portrayed by the late YouTuber of the same name.

Appearance

Technoblade is a tall, anthropomorphic pig with a golden gem-decorated crown, a white dress shirt, a red royal gown, grey pants and black boots. He is alternatively depicted as being a human with long, pastel pink hair and a pig mask.

His peaceful/retired clothing attire consists of a blue chestplate with white shoulder pads, black boots and a maroon undershirt.

Personality

I mean, once Techno gets a taste for blood, everything’s getting yeeted. You just have to avoid. You have to avoid his wrath. Get the fuck out. Run. (laughs) If you’re a player, in the server, he’s going to hit you! That’s how it goes. And if you’re in the way, that’s- you’re in his way.
~ Philza commenting on Technoblade’s bloodthirsty and barbaric nature.

Technoblade is an anarchist first and foremost, and seeks the end of all forms of tyranny and oppression. Techno especially believes that all governments or forms of authority are inherently evil and lead people down paths of corruption, which is especially evident during every major crusade he has lead. Techno also only fights for the side that opposes tyranny, no matter the people involved. Techno displays no sign of concern towards how his goals affect other people or alternative solutions to problems that relate to his ambitions, instead resorting to acts of violence, as he believes that “the only universal language is violence”. Despite this, he’s not above making grandiose speeches in order to resolve issues, but they evidently don’t work as they continue to relate to how he personally decides to deal with his problems, which is violence. Techno is also a classic social Darwinist, as he discussed with BadBoyHalo prior to the Manberg Festival that he believes an ideal world would be one where the strong survive by wreaking havoc and the weak live huddled in fear.

Although he appears as a mindless murdering machine, Techno is incredibly intelligent. Being one of the most skilled fighters on the server, Techno is an exceptionally well-trained and highly knowledgeable individual on various weapons, armour types, statistics, building methods, enchantments and secret tricks that give him the upper hand over most of his opponents. Despite his obvious distaste for government, Techno was able to convince Tommy on two separate occasions that he was ultimately in it to help him with restoring peace and order to L’Manberg. He is also very well-adjusted and insightful on creating strategies, which is shown prominently during Dream’s breakout where he dug underneath the prison, climbed up using fire resistance and broke Dream out using TNT instead of taking hours to mine through the prison’s defences. Techno is also incredibly calm and collected at all times, speaking in a stoic, sarcastic, dry, near-emotionless voice. He does, however, have occasional fits of rage and insanity when faced with something that greatly bothers him, such as someone betraying him or seeing an opportunity to commit senseless destruction.

Despite his excellent fighting skills and genius intelligence, Techno isn’t the most composed individual when it comes to friendships. Techno already has a very stern and harsh criteria for people who are willing to try and be friendly towards him, but he’s also incredibly petty, as wronging him in any way, no matter how big or small is enough to land people on his bad side and cause him to hold a grudge for a long time. Even if called out or hurt for the right reasons, Techno will stay true to his beliefs and refuse to even hear the other side out, preferring instead to resort to violence, something which he’s always stood by. His lack of attempting to reason with people is what makes him so notoriously untrustworthy towards people that aren’t in his immediate friend group, as he’s quick to instead go down the path of violence to secure his goals deal with anyone who opposes him. Many of the people he went against during both the Manberg and Doomsday wars had not directly opposed or antagonized him in any way, yet he continued to slaughter them anyway.

Arguably though, Techno’s biggest flaw is that he’s a downright hypocrite, mainly with how he treats others and how his relationships with others relates to his views. Although he’s definitely an anarchist and the intentions of the Syndicate are to promote anarchy and abolish government, their method border on assuming control and instigating investigations into potential governments. Techno will actively scout out anything that remotely resembles authority as well as interrogate and threaten individuals he believes are in on them. Essentially, the whole point of the Syndicate is essentially an underground police force that uses anarchy as a front to mask their desire to control how other people think, which Techno himself doesn’t even seem to realize. Additionally, Techno’s ideal world is one where the strong survive and the weak live in fear, ironically, his ideal world is one where he is the oppressor. Techno’s hypocrisy also comes in the form of his relationships with others and how his quick-to-judge nature results in him taking all the wrong measures to defend his views. This is especially evident during the precursor to the Doomsday War where Techno berated Tommy for “using” him from the start and hiding what he was actually planning. A rich statement coming from Techno when he had made it clear to Tommy that he was still in favour of annihilating L’Manberg. In fact, the day before the Green Festival, Techno flat-out admitted that he was only keeping Tommy around for the purpose of furthering his own goals and revealed that he had been continuously lying to Tommy about what he truly wanted for him and the rest of L’Manberg, which is to destroy it, the exact opposite of what Tommy wanted to do, and Techno knew it. Techno is even willing to team up with Dream, one of the most authoritarian figures on the server. While Techno evidently isn’t aware of all of his actions, he is wilfully ignorant of them when it visits Dream in prison, even though he chose to later kick him off his property after breaking him out.

  Technoblade by feyturtle on DeviantArt

Techno also has several issues retaining to his mental health, specifically how he deals under peer pressure. When Jschlatt ordered him to execute Tubbo, Techno became uncharacteristically nervous leading up to him pulling the trigger. This incident also drove him to a breaking point, as he genuinely apologized to Tubbo before executing him, and, upon seeing that the crowd watching did nothing, massacred them in a grief-filled rage. He was also put under an immense amount of pressure and stress when Sam took Ranboo as a hostage, torn between whether or not he should return Dream in exchange for Ranboo and was willing to negotiate before Sam killed him. That event in particular took a severe toll on his mental health and he felt incredibly guilty for letting Ranboo die. Techno also has issues with empathy and openly doesn’t care about most people on the server. When Tommy lost his lost canon life, he reacted indifferently, and when Dream told him about the torture being inflicted on him, Techno coldly told him that it “sounds like a you problem”. His indifference towards how other people feel and his unsympathetic nature leads to him being extremely overconfident, arrogant and selfish, putting the needs of himself over the needs of everyone else on the server, viewing his methods and ideas as the only true path to peace, especially since he’s willing to burn bridges with former friends who don’t support views and not care in the slightest, showing him to be extremely selfish at times. His egotism has also lead him to boast about his abilities to easily overpower everyone he duels with, although this factor rarely leads to his downfall in conflicts.

Despite these numerous flaws, Techno’s strongest quality if definitely his undying loyalty towards his allies and closest friends, which is especially evident with Philza, whom he has known for years and was willing to do anything for. Even when faced with execution, Techno’s biggest concern was with Phil, who had been put under house arrest for aiding him in staying hidden from the Butcher Army. Phil has been his closest friend for years, with the two going on to destroy L’Manberg and found the Syndicate together. Techno even gifted his will to Phil in the event of his imprisonment and/or death, telling him that he was glad he met him. Techno also cared a great deal for his other allies, such as Niki and Ranboo, writing in his will that they were “stronger than they think”. Techno had spent a lot of time with Ranboo, having taken pity on him by letting him live in his house and recruiting him into the Syndicate, even if he didn’t exactly have the same political ideals as him. When Ranboo was help hostage by Sam, Techno desperately wanted to save Ranboo and persuaded Dream to come back. He also seemed to care a great deal about Ghostbur due to his kind and friendly nature, and urged him to flee from the Butcher Army when they found him, and didn’t cast any blame onto him despite Ghostbur indirectly signalling his location. He also has a great deal of care for the voices in his head, despite their (sometimes) deranged thoughts and suggestions. Techno is also willing to put aside his differences with others in order to solve a bigger problem, such as when he teamed up with Tubbo to search for MICHAEL following his abduction.

Techno also has a mixed relationship with TommyInnit, and despite all the conflicts they’ve been through, Techno still cares about him enough to write him into his will and wish him the best. Despite the fact that Techno was very open about his anarchistic ways and had lied to Tommy constantly during and after his exile leading up to the Doomsday War, Techno never forced Tommy to do anything his will (although he continuously and subtlety conveyed that he wanted Tommy to adapt to his ideals) and although he was initially frustrated with how he intruded on his property, he gradually warmed up to Tommy’s prolonged stay after learning what he had been put through by Dream. Speaking of, Technoblade aimed to protect Tommy from Dream at all costs, lying about his whereabouts and actively standing between him and Tommy when Dream found out about his escape from exile. When Tommy had a panic attack in the Final Control Room, Techno reassured him that he didn’t need to talk about it, and that his recovery would take time. Even during the Doomsday War, Techno admitted that he had grown fond of Tommy and would’ve fought alongside him, and that he (albeit, hypocritically) felt betrayed by Tommy leaving his side in favour of L’Manberg.

When Techno decided to retire and live a peaceful life in the snow, he genuinely gave up his violent ways in favour of a happy life that wasn’t fraught with chaos and bloodshed, although circumstances would inevitably drive him back to his violent ways.

Quotes

Season 1

so i heard you guys might need some assistance
~ Technoblade on Twitter, teasing his arrival.
Schlatt: Do I look like a bad guy to you?

Techno: I mean, kinda.

Schlatt: Shut up, Technoblade.

~ Jschlatt and Technoblade.
Tommy, the thing is, you’re using words… but the thing about this world, Tommy, is that the only universal language is violence… and we’ve had that conversation. We’ve spoken that language in the pit. It’s over, Tommy. Onto a new day. A new plot to destroy Manburg.
~ Technoblade after dueling against Tommy in the Pit.
I want to leave a smoking crater from which not only will Manburg never recover, but from which no new country can rise in its place. History will FORGET that a country ever existed in this area.
~ Technoblade revealing his true intentions to BadBoyHalo.
Tubbo… Tubbo, I’m sorry. I’ll make this as painless and as colorful as I can, Tubbo.
~ Technoblade expressing remorse for having to execute Tubbo, reassuring him before executing him.
Tommy: What the f— What’s wrong with you?!

Techno: Uh… ‘Lotta things, really. Uh, I have a bad attention span, bad at conversation, don’t really deal with social conversations well, might’ve just committed tax fraud recently-

Tommy: Technoblade, you killed Tubbo! You killed him!

Techno: Oh, and the murders.

~ Tommy and Techno discussing what happened at the Green Festival.
I’m back with my glass of water. Oh, why is my health so low? Ah, doesn’t matter—(sees Tommy’s loot)—oh, hey, hey, free stuff!!
~ Technoblade upon finding Tommy’s discarded items that dropped when he accidentally killed himself by taking damage from Technoblade’s thorn-enchanted armor.
‘Do you feel tired, Quackity?’
~ Technoblade upon finding Quackity after the Green Festival.
The difference in ability is just that great.
~ Technoblade seeing that Quackity is unable to harm his because of his enchanted armor.
Quackity: W-What did you do to the orphans’ parents?

Techno: That would be the first-worst thing.

~ Technoblade revealing himself to be the “second worst thing” to happen to orphans to Quackity.
Do you have a death wish, Quackity?
~ Technoblade in response to Quackity asking him on a date.
We’ve killed Karl three times!
~ Technoblade pointing out the amount of times Karl has died during the war.
Woo, we killed an old man with heart problems, pog! It only took twenty of us!
~ Technoblade celebrating Jschlatt’s death.
Karl: I’ll bow to him!

Techno: Karl, don’t be weird.

~ Karl and Technoblade during Dream’s speech.
Technoblade: Tommy?

TommyInnit: Yeah?

Technoblade: Do you think you’re a hero? Is that what this is?

Tommy: I just wanted… I just wanted L’Manburg.

Technoblade: You just wanted power.

Tommy: That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I didn’t- I just wanted…

Technoblade: Tommy, you just did a coup. You just did a hostile government takeover and then immediately instilled yourself as president. And then you gave it to your friend, but that’s still a tyrant, Tommy! […] But the thing about this world, Tommy… is that good things don’t happen to heroes. Let me tell you a story, Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus. His country… well his city-state, technically, was in danger. And he sent himself forward into enemy lines, he slayed the minotaur, and saved his city. Do you know what they did to him? […] They exiled him. He died, in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes, Tommy.

Tubbo: But he saved everyone!

Technoblade: The Greeks knew the score. But if you want to be a hero, Tommy, that’s fine… That’s fine.

Tommy: (scared) Technoblade, don’t do this.

Philza: Don’t do this, Techno, don’t-

Tommy: We’re so close, I’m not the hero-

Technoblade: If you want to be a hero, Tommy…

Fundy: (mumbling) There’s no fucking way, there’s no fucking way…

Tubbo: Uuuuuuuuuhhhh…

Technoblade: Do you want to be a hero, Tommy?! THEN DIE LIKE ONE! (misplaces the Wither Skulls) Okay, why isn’t this spawning? Why is this not spawning? This is very awkward. […] I hate this.

~ Technoblade retelling the story of Theseus before setting off two withers to destroy L’Manberg.
  Technoblade Pig Hoodie for Men, Technoblade Merch Pullover Without Pocket, Kids Long Sleeve Sweatshirt, Cosplay : Amazon.com.be: Fashion

Season 2

PHA HA HA, LOOK AT THIS LOSER! Oh my god, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!
~ Technoblade upon seeing Tommy in exile.
Okay, roleplayin’ over. You see what I just did there, chat? You see what I just did? All of you guys are now canon! You’re all canon now, but if you’re in any other streamer’s chat, you’re not canon, ’cause their chat’s not canon. Therefore, you should come over to Technoblade’s livestream chat, to be part of the storyline.
~ Technoblade addressing the voices in his head.
“Take the second bell.” I don’t need a second bell. I mean, I don’t wanna be rude, chat, I mean… I only need the one bell, they need a bell! I mean, come on, chat, let’s not be- (Phil steals the second bell) Okay, well, Philza needed a second bell apparently! Here I was, trying to be a good person, resisting the voices, and Phil’s like, “Lemme just solve that dilemma for you!”
~ Technoblade as he steals a village’s bell.
THE GODS ARE ANGRY! I DON’T KNOW THAT MAN!
~ Technoblade upon seeing lightning strike as soon as Philza kills an iron golem.
Phil: That one time. One time out of five years, by the way, ONE time! ONE night!

Techno: I mean, it’s clearly the biggest risk, Phil. None of the other mobs killed you in five years.

~ Technoblade expressing concern in the presense of a baby zombie.
Techno: You’re the only friend I have left in this world, Phil.

Phil: Aw, mate…

Techno: The only friend I have left. Which is why… I want you to have this compass. If you ever need me, Phil… I’m going into retirement right now. I’m giving up on my violent ways, but if you ever need me, Phil…

Phil: I’ll know where to find you.

~ Technoblade showing his loyalty to Philza, promising to come whenever Phil needs his assistance.
For you the world, Phil.
~ Technoblade to Philza.
Little late for that, Ghostbur.
~ Technoblade to Ghostbur after realizing he’s trying to cover for him.
PHIL! PHIL WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?
~ Technoblade panicking upon seeing Philza on house arrest and unable to halt his upcoming execution.
Quackity: How the ffffFUCK, how the HELL did that anvil not kill you?!

Techno: (laughs) Did you really think, Quackity, that you could kill me that easily?

Quackity: How did you do it? What- how did you even do that?

Techno: You think death can stop me, Quackity? Y’know- Y’know what?! Y’know what, I’ve got- I’ve got a lot to say, okay?! I was gonna say it at the trial, but we got a little bit interrupted, Quackity. Y’know, I tried convincing you guys that government- that government was not the answer, that government was actually the cause of all your problems. Alright? I tried- I tried to convince you guys by fighting alongside you as brothers, and you just cast me aside, you used me, I tried to use force, and you STILL formed a government, and when I went into hiding, when I retired, when I swore off violence, you HUNTED ME DOWN, you HURT MY FRIENDS!

Quackity: You don’t understand, Techno, you don’t understand what we’re trying to build here, Techno. This is not a- this is not a simple anarchy-thing, Techno. That’s what you don’t understand. Alright? Techno, do you really think I give a shit about the Withers? No. No. You are on the hitlist, Techno. You’re on the fucking hitlist.

Techno: What hitlist?

Quackity: I’m building a country here. This is what- what we have out there is a country. And what we need here is organization of power. And I don’t care how long it fucking takes me, or what I have to do to get you, Techno… I’m going to fucking kill you. I am going to kill you, Technoblade.

Techno: …I just have one question, Quackity.

Quackity: What do you have?

Techno: Do you think you’re enough to kill me? Even unarmed, with iron armor, do you really think YOU can take me?!

Quackity: Oh, I do. Y’know what? Let’s fucking find out, you son of a BITCH!

~ Technoblade confronting Quackity in the Final Control Room before fighting.
I have a pickaxe, and I’LL PUT IT THROUGH YOUR TEETH! I’LL PUT IT THROUGH YOUR TEETH, QUACKITY!
~ Technoblade before doing just that to Quackity, leaving a permanant scar on his face.
Welcome home, Theseus!
~ Technoblade showing Tommy his collection of Wither Skeleton skulls.
Tommy: I don’t know why you’re here.

Techno: I LIVE HERE!

~ Technoblade arguing with Tommy after the latter broke into his house.
Connor: Tommy?!

Tommy: (with a fake Spanish accent) Nonono, Connor, not Tommy, Clarencio, come up and look at me, look at me!

Technoblade: You’re pretendin’ to be the llama?!’

~ Connor, Tommy and Technoblade.
Dream: He gets yeeted off of the cliff by the guy who was the king of the island that he took refuge on after exile. Now, I’m not pointing this out for any particular reason-

Techno: You don’t know his name either, do you?

~ Dream and Technoblade talking about the story of Theseus.
Dream: “GET TECHNOBLADE’S WEAPONS!” HOW- HOW COULD YOU WRITE “GET TECHNOBLADE’S WEAPONS?!”

Techno: Dude, I speak in the third person all the time. Haven’t you heard my key phrase, “Technoblade never dies?” I say it all the time, Dream.

Dream: Okay, listen. “Cringe therapy”, but spelled wrong.

Techno: …It’s a hard word to spell.

Dream: No, it’s- YOU ARE AN ENGLISH MAJOR!’

~ Dream and Technoblade arguing over spelling.
Techno: It just seems so rude, do I barge into your house, Dream? And start looking through your stuff, and commenting on your suspicious to do list on your wall? Actually, do you even have a house? I’ve never seen you in a house.

Dream: Ah, I do have a house. It’s very, very far from here.

Techno: Do you like— are you homeless? Is this like-

Dream: No, I’m not— I’m not homeless I do have a house.

Techno: I—you just don’t want to admit you don’t have a house. Do you sleep outside Dream?

Dream: I have a house— I don’t even sleep, but I do have a house.

Techno: Proof, prove you have a house, bring me to it.

Dream: No, I’m not gonna take you to my house.

Techno: Dude, this guy doesn’t have a house.

Dream: I have a house!

Techno: He owns the Minecraft, he owns the Minecraft server and he never builds a house.

Dream: I HAVE A HOUSE!!

Techno: ‘Cause all he does is show up ominously on peoples streams.

Dream: I have a giant house far away.

Techno: You wouldn’t know my house, it goes to another school, it goes to another school!

Dream: I. HAVE. A HOUSE!!! What is— Technoblade, alright, I’m leaving! What the hell is wrong with—

~ Technoblade heckles Dream over the latter being homeless.
‘(reading Dream’s diary) “Dear Diary, today I worked on my house. Tomorrow, I want to build a basement! It’s going to be the biggest base ever.”
~ Technoblade reading Dream’s diary.
You guys are so bad at plot. Please. Why are you so lame? I’m sitting here in infiltration, I’m like “Okay, they’re- I’ve been talking to Phil, we’re gonna have some plot.” […] My audience retention is in shambles, why have you guys done this to me?
~ Technoblade after seeing everyone breaking character.
Techno: hey phil want a dandelion my friend

Phil: sure best bud

~ Technoblade and Philza interacting in chat.
Tommy, that entire time we had Christmas hats on, it was ruinin’ the moment.
~ Technoblade.
Tommy: Oh my god, if there was a Hug-button, I would press it! Holy shit!

Techno: I’m glad there’s not a Hug-button. I am pressing the Boundaries-button.

~ Tommy and Technoblade.
Techno: (whispering) Tommy, don’t be scared. He doesn’t have no house. He don’t got no home, Tommy, don’t be scared.

Tommy: Is he a homeless man?

Dream: No, I’m not.

Tommy: Oh, I hate homeless people.

Techno: That’s a lot- that’s a lot to process, Tommy.

~ Technoblade telling Tommy not to be scared of Dream due to him not having a house.
Dream: Tommy, listen. You’re gonna come with me… or I’m gonna burn your disc.

‘Techno: Well, that’s gonna be a bit of a problem, Dream. (steps in front of Tommy) Because this guy’s with me.’

~ Technoblade standing up for Tommy and protecting him from Dream.
Techno: Don’t ask questions, Tommy. The adults are speaking.

Tommy: (offended) Hey!

(everyone starts Corpsing)

Techno: I really just BM’d you in the middle of the lore, didn’t I?!

Tommy: What the fuck?!

~ Technoblade talking about the favor he owes Dream to Tommy.
Technoblade: Yeah, tell him!!

Dream: Because you are an idiot. You are a buffoon. You are a fool, you fall for-

Technoblade: You are a coward!

~ Technoblade interupting Dream as he monologues to Tubbo.
YEAH, YOU SUCK TUBBO!
~ Technoblade
Tommy: You said there were thirty minutes!

Techno: Oh no, did we lie? Oh no, I wasn’t honorable about the 1 v like 30 that’s going to happen today, oh no!

~ Tommy and Technoblade before the beginning of the Doomsday War.
LET’S CHUNK ERROR THIS!
~ Technoblade planning to blow up L’Manberg with Dream.
‘Run.’
~ Technoblade sparing Fundy after finding him defenseless.
Remember when I was sitting there alone against the whole government, and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines and watch? Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones who stepped in and said, “Don’t worry, Technoblade, we know you’re in a high pressure situation, but we’ll fight the world for you, Technoblade”? No, you guys watched. You know what I did yesterday when you were surrounded by thirty people and the whole world was against you? I walked in. I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would’ve been there.
~ Technoblade’s final confrontation with Tommy, expressing how betrayed he feels.
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SO LONG, THESEUS!
~ Technoblade after Tommy gets struck by lightning.
wait ive seen this episode before
~ Technoblade in-game referencing Wilbur’s death during Ghostbur’s attempted resurrection.
Techno: We’re goin’ to the End, change the stream title! We go! Yeah, we’re gonna kill the Ender Dragon-

Technoblade has made the advancement Eye Spy

Ranboo has made the advancement Eye Spy

Techno: OH, it snitched!

Ranboo: Ohp, no, oh, get out, oh god.

Techno: It snitched, our cover’s blown!

Ranboo: We-we’re not doing any of that.

~ Technoblade and Ranboo as they head to a stronghold.
My poor property value.
~ Technoblade to Ranboo.
Technoblade: At least—you can break one of the blocks but at least leave the other blocks so we can’t even activate it, come on!

Phil: (laughing) We were literally going to make a fucking table!

Technoblade: We wanted a table, Dream! It was gonna be our meeting room, come on, Dream, put the blocks back! Come on, come on, don’t be that way….

(DreamXD joined the game)

(DreamXD places a single End portal frame block down)

(DreamXD left the game)

Technoblade: That is not what I meant, Dream!

~ Technoblade talking to DreamXD before the latter prevents Techno and Phil from entering the End Portal.
Technoblade: You see, he logs in as DreamXD because Dream and DreamXD are actually separate beings alright. DreamXD is like…the god—uh—DreamXD has canonical access to creative mode while the regular Dream is just like some homeless teletubby that-

(DreamXD joined the game)

Technoblade: —ahaha! Heyyy—(types “haha jk” in the chat)—I can’t wait to watch the Manhunt video! When is that coming out-

~ Technoblade talking about DreamXD right before he shows up and catches him off guard.
Dream: yo Techno log in i need that favor

Dream: TECHNO

Dream: TECHNO LOG IN NOW

Techno: can’t im busy

~ Technoblade in response to Dream getting dragged off to prison.

Season 3

Chat, I’m not going to be Uncle Iroh, okay? No one’s going to be Uncle Iroh. I’m not cool enough. Let’s set realistic expectations, chat.
~ Technoblade speaking to his voices.
Techno: Are you ready to hear this?

Ranboo: I’m ready.

(noteblock plays ordinary sound)

Techno: This changes everything.

~ Technoblade and Ranboo playing a “note”.
BadBoyHalo: I literally just saw something. It was over there and then it went poof and now it’s not.

Technoblade: Eh, probably just an enderman, they do that.

~ Technoblade distracting BadBoyHalo from Ranboo following them.
Niki: How did he die? Do you know?

Ranboo: I was talking with Sam, Dream beat him to death, actually.

Technoblade: Yoooo, that’s a pog. Moving on.

~ Technoblade’s reaction to Tommy’s death.
“Dear Ph1lza Minecraft,

I am going to the prison to visit Dream and make sure he’s alright. If I do not return within a few days, activate the pearl I left in our book club’s meeting room. If the pearl is gone, well, it was nice knowing you. Look after the others for me when I’m gone.

I left my valuables in a barrel hidden in the top floor’s ceiling and a chest under the stone in a corner of that one weird room under the house with pistons. Distribute them as you see fit. Please keep Steve and the foxes well-fed; the wolves can be released into the wilderness.

Tell Ranboo & Niki that they’re stronger than they know.

Tell Tommy I hope he finds what he’s looking for, whatever that is.

Phil, I’m glad I met you in this life.

Tell the rest of the SMP that having abolished all governments of men, I have ascended to heaven to take on the Kingdom of God.”

~ Technoblade’s will to Philza in case he doesn’t make it out of Pandora’s Vault.
Awsamdude: And do you recognize that I, Awsamdude, am the ultimate authority on the grounds of the prison, and anything I say goes?

Technoblade: Oh, I love authority. Everyone can tell you that. I absolutely acknowledge it.

~ Technoblade giving his answers to the terms and conditions of Pandora’s Vault.
Technoblade: So… How’s it goin’, roommate?

Dream: (doesn’t respond)

Technoblade: (laughs) You are just not into this. Well, that’s what six months of jail would do to anyone.

Dream: You’re acting like you’re on vacation or something.

Technoblade: I mean, it’s kinda like this is a new experience for me! I’m sure it’ll get old.

~ Technoblade attempting to strike up a conversation with Dream in prison.
Techno: (in the in-game chat) yo can you grant a wish

Techno: Yo. (turns to Dream) Dream, I got an idea. I got a- Let’s ask him if he can grant a wish.

Dream: Oh my god.

Techno: Bro. Bro, this is huge. This is huge.

DreamXD: (in the in-game chat) one

Techno: “One”. Bro!

Dream: (excitedly) One! He’s- He’s gonna grant a wish?

Techno: We can get one wish. We can get one wish! (typing in the in-game chat) I want a bell. I want a bell, give me a bell.

Dream: WHAT?! TECHNO-

Techno: Give me a bell.

Dream: WHAT ARE YOU- GET US OUT! What do you mean, you want a bell?!

Techno: (to DreamXD) Give me a bell. I want a bell.

DreamXD: (in the in-game chat) ok

Techno: Yoooo! Yo, it’s workin’!

(DreamXD places down a bell on the floor of the prison cell and leaves the game)

Techno: YOOOOO!

Dream: (at the same time) WHAT?!

Techno: YOOOOOOO!

Dream: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU WANT A BELL? GET US- YOU HAD ONE WISH, YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN US OUT OF HERE! TECHNO! (starts hitting Techno)

Techno: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YO, WE GOT A BELL! (Sellout Timer goes off) YO, JUST IN TIME FOR THE SELLOUT TIMER TOO! YOOOOOOOOO!

~ Technoblade having a wish granted by DreamXD, much to Dream’s dismay as he sees Techno wishing for a bell rather than a way to escape Pandora’s Vault.
Techno: Stop, stop, stop, I’m low health, I’m low health- I got information. I got information. Stop.

(Quackity stops chasing Techno around the cell and trying to murder him with Wardens Torment)

Techno: Aye, that worked.

Quackity: You have information?

Techno: Yeah, bro.

Quackity: What exactly could I do with your information?

Techno: […] I’ve got a pretty great information, actually. The- The best information, bro, there’s things you wanna know? About uh- the rest of the world? ‘Cause I’ve travelled far, I’ve travelled wide, I know things like- that can threaten your […] empire or something- you always got an empire or something, bro, it’s just- it’s in your nature.

Quackity: Technoblade, I’m gonna tell you one thing. One thing I went through was death. When you killed me, you think I was just gonna forget about it? Think I was…

Techno: I mean, yeah, kinda.

Quackity: …just gonna walk away- you think I was just gonna walk away and forget about it?

Techno: That was the hope, yeah.

Quackity: I’ll tell you something, Techno, I’ll tell you something, alright? In the same way you did it- (switches to a diamond pickaxe and chuckles) I have a pickaxe.

Techno: Oh, wait… OH, WAIT… WHA-WHAT? HOLD ON!

Quackity: And I’ll put it. THROUGH YOUR FUCKING TEETH, TECHNO! I’LL PUT IT THROUGH YOUR FU-

Techno: (runs away from Quackity) HOLD ON! NONONO- (is teleported out using the Ender Pearl Stasis Chamber; disappears from the cell)’

~ Quackity attempts to get revenge on Technoblade, only for the latter to get teleported out of the prison via the Ender Pearl Stasis Chamber.
Techno: I ALMOST DIED!

Phil: YOU SAID THREE MONTHS!

Techno: I DID NOT SAY THREE MONTHS!

Phil: Wait, wait, wait… Oh my god, you said three days…

Techno: Bruuuuh… Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

~ Technoblade arguing with Philza over his prolonged stay at Pandora’s Vault.

Gallery

Trivia

  • On June 30, 2022, the real-life Technoblade passed away due to terminal cancer, leaving it unknown what will happen to his character.
  • He is the twenty-third member of the Dream SMP.
  • It’s possible that Technoblade, much like his real life self, has ADHD.
  • Techno’s hatred of orphans is quite ironic, since orphans were responsible for killing his parents, making him also an orphan.
  • It’s heavily implied that the voices in Techno’s head protects him from the voices and corruption of the Egg.
  • His nickname of “The Human GPS” comes from him memorizing the entire layout of the server.
  • Prior to being debunked, it was thought by many that Techno was Philza’s adopted son, which would also make him Wilbur’s brother.
    • Techno and Phil have noted that while the family dynamic isn’t canon, they’re fine with headcanons.
  • During the November 16th stream where he helped to destroy Manberg, one of his withers was named “Subscribe to Technoblade”.
  • According to Ghostbur’s book, Wilbur and Techno used to spar when they were younger, implying that they have a past history unknown to the rest of the SMP.
    • Additionally, Phil and Techno’s are said to have known each other since they were kids.
  • According to Techno, the amount of wither skulls he had in his vault were enough to create 55 withers.
    • If this is true, it would mean Techno had 165 wither skulls for usage.
Dream SMP Villains

Dream SMP

Badlands

Eggpire

The Syndicate

Las Nevadas

Other

Tales From The SMP

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